Soccer moms, eat your heart out. PHOTO: MARY O'NEILL

Oh boy, the vicarious life. First it was ski magazines. Then it was ski movies. These days—via Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and now Instagram —you can find out what your favorite pro skier is doing RIGHT NOW.

However, after a while, the novelty wears off. In a relatively homogenous community like skiing (you know, compared to the real world), there are a few common threads that will weave through the fabric of your feed of totally awesome pro skiers social media . They will all be stoked most of the time. Anytime anything especially good happens, they will not only be stoked, but honored. They will likely use the phrase "Another day in the office," which will drive you insane.

Unfortunately, few pro skiers have the gift of gab to match their gift of a life that we all wish we were living. Follow your favorite skier on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook long enough and you will be disappointed that they are just as nice and boring as the people you know in real life. They take photos of their dogs or their food and do lame things like road biking and errands. Sometimes they retweet inspirational quotes from dumb sports sites, which really kills the buzz. So do yourself a favor and unsubscribe from the feeds of any ski figure you respect for their skiing, and take a pick from this POWDER-qualified set of quirky feeds.

Mary O'Neil

The most unlikely freeski superfan on the Internet. A mother of three with a crush on Tom Wallisch, Mary is infamous among freeski fans for getting her photo taken with pretty much anyone that has ever been paid to ski park. Her Klout score, however, is likely higher than mine. Did I just mention my Klout score?
Twitter: @MaryOski

Ski Photographers
Ski photographers are great to follow on Instagram—they always take good photos, and the gloat factor is minimal because if they had a shot of skiing that would make you jealous, they'd rather sell it than let you look at it for free online. They also have an eye for good architecture, cool old cameras, and all that other trendy shit.
Instragram: @acpictures, @sweetgrassp, @sherpascinema, @erikseo

Tanner Hall
Tanner's feeds are among the most noted in the ski community ever since his keyboard broke, LEAVING THE CAPS LOCK ON FOREVER. Follow for off-hand emotional rants, statements involving the phrase "INSPIIIIIRED," and to figure out why the hell Red Bull just dropped him.
Instagram: @TannerHall420 Twitter: @TannerHall Facebook:

Jordan Spohr
We don't get a lot of weird in the ski community, so do yourself a favor and follow Moment skier Jordan Spohr's Instagram feed. Instead of sweet shots of bros doing something athletic, you'll see the Tahoe local's shots of dead birds or weird bugs and mushrooms or photos from his trainhopping adventures and crazy wood block prints.
Instagram: @spohr

Legend Status
There are, however, a few stand-outs who manage to broadcast a social media message as cool and enigmatic as their on-hill image.

Candide Thovex

Candide, no surprise, is perhaps the only professional skier smart enough, or with little enough understanding of English, to keep his immaculate image intact. His posts are few and far between, just like his public appearances, and the text is usually short and mysterious.
Instagram: @candidethovez Twitter: @candidethovex Facebook:

JP Aculair

JP Auclair is another unsurprising performer in the social media category. He limits his posts to European architecture as clean as his mute grabs, environmental issues, and whatever aquaculture garden he happens to be building in Kenya at the time.
Instagram: @auclairjp Twitter: @auclairjp

Anthony Boronowski
Anthony Boronowski, one of skiing's few legitimate artists, leaks short lines of text on his Twitter account that offer brief insights into his marketing and design mind, or that make no sense of any kind such as "first like my last and last like my first." One of the few skiing personalities that will make you feel lame and uncultured, or maybe you'll just think he's pretentious.
Instagram: @ABornowski Twitter: @ABoronowski