Lorenzo Worster, Kutchan, Hokkaido, Japan. PHOTO: Ryan Creary
Lorenzo Worster, Kutchan, Hokkaido, Japan. PHOTO: Ryan Creary

Things a Ski Bum Will Never Hear

Some conversations go out the window when you live to ski

We know a lot of people who make skiing their first priority in life. We love those people—we are those people. We also recognize that this lifestyle comes with a cost. I once reheated a slice of half-eaten pizza with a lighter in the back of a van I had slept in at the base of a ski hill. I didn’t even think twice about it. Anyway, here are a few phrases I can plan on never hearing. Now that we’ve come to terms with this, let’s go skiing.

1. We'd like to offer you this full-time position, with benefits.

2. On behalf of the Ritz Carlton, we'd like to thank you for staying with us.

3. Here's your security deposit back.

4. In my 19 years in the medical profession, I've never seen knees this good.

5. We weren't going to offer you this sponsorship, but then we checked out your Instagram page

6. Of course, your Malamute is perfect for this studio apartment.

7. Based on your credit score, we're going to offer you this special low-interest rate on your mortgage.

8. I'm proud of you, son.