2. The light on your beacon is on... at the bar.
3. You have three condoms in your pocket.
4. Your skis are 120 millimeters underfoot... on opening day.
5. You are wearing so many layers that you cannot buckle your own damn boots.
6. Your bindings are set to DIN 22.
7. You are wearing a full-face helmet.
8. You are wearing a 45-liter airbag inbounds. It's filled with dehydrated food.