Aspen phallic prank victim guilty of arson
Can't make this stuff up, folks. Only in Aspen. After his roommate drew penises on his face while he was passed out over the weekend, Aspen resident Stephen Elmore got a little heated under the hood, lighting a fire in the apartment's garage in retaliation. Elmore was later arrested and pled guilty to felony arson. As of this report and much to the chagrin of at least one Aspen ski bro, no charges have been filed against the dick doodler.

Jesper Tjäder drops insane glade line
I am invoking my self-given right to make outrageous claims and saying that no one in the history of man (or animal, I suppose) has ever skied a tree run quite this well. Next.

$3.5 million can buy you a three-lift Montana resort
Blacktail Mountain Ski Resort hit the market this week, carrying a relatively light $3.5 million price tag (or roughly the cost of a mondo turkey chili bread bowl at Deer Valley). Featuring three lifts, a 17,000-square-foot base lodge and sweeping views of Flathead Lake outside of Kalispell, it might not be the worst decision you've made this week.

In other resort news, the U.S. Forest Service will not appeal a federal judge's ruling against the construction of a Wolf Creek ski area in Southwestern Colorado, all but ending a 30-year bid to open a new ski hill in the area.

Living Olympic ski champ donates brain to concussion research
Canada's 1992 Olympic downhill champion Kerrin Lee-Gartner announced that she will be one of four prominent Canadian female athletes to donate her brain to concussion research, becoming the first living female skier to do so in the process. Lee-Gartner says she still suffers from post-concussion syndrome 25 years after the end of her racing career, including symptoms of depression, vertigo, and crippling migraines. While the Canadian Concussion Center has studied 44 brains thus far, Lee-Gartner's will be part of the first group of female brains examined by the organization.