I never went to summer camp as a kid. Despite the heavy influence of Salute Your Shorts and Heavy Weights on my most impressionable years, my parents never sent me. So I can't say for sure, but I'm going to assume that summer camp is nothing like Kamp K2, the adult fantasy camp held at Crystal Mountain, Washington, over the weekend to which I lost my camp virginity.
Like any camp, campers bonded by bunk assignments and complaining about the mass-produced Sysco food. Unlike your Camp Lakeshore of yore, this K2 love fest had bottomless amounts of beer, a DJ with a mullet and an orange limousine, beer pong, girls, mechanical bulls, threesomes, professional athletes (one who possibly suffered a serious drinking injury), and late-night Hot Pocket feasts. (There was also skiing, although that was not the point.) Here’s a highlight video from Kamp.
Special thanks to K2 for putting on the best camp around.