1. The no-hat guy. There’s one at every mountain—no hat, no hair, no goggles, no buff. No matter the weather, No-Hat Guy doesn’t give AF and can be seen sporting an old pair of sunglasses held on by a leather cord, a shit-eating grin, and a lot more style than the rest of us.
2. The parents of toddlers. Seriously, how do you do this?! Slugging all those tiny skis, keeping track of all the mittens, remembering all of the snacks? The patience! We salute you.
3. The first time skier in their 30s. Is there anything more humbling than learning a new sport as an adult? We just don’t bounce back as well as we used to, we’re not on mom and dad’s health insurance anymore, and yet you’re out here paying money to get worked by the mountain while you’re friends take off to score pow. Good on ya. Welcome to the family. It gets better–and it’s never too late to learn.
4. The BN skier. Less impressive than the nude skiing is the slow, torturous task of actually GETTING naked for said BN lap. To drop trou, you’ve first got to take your damn ski boots off in the snow while the wind is whipping millions of razor-sharp snowflakes across your derrière. That’s commitment. No wonder your buns are that funny shade of purple. Please don’t fall.
5. The Octogenarian (or older). Heck, if we can still feed ourselves at this age, we’ll be happy. If you’ve made 80-plus trips around the sun and you’re still making turns, you’re absolutely the best skier on the mountain. This man celebrated his 100th birthday by going skiing last year.
6. The mom who just plugged in a crock pot in the lodge. Game over: she is the smartest skier on the mountain. While she’s out bagging lap after lap, a hot pot of chili is being simmered to perfection at the base. BYO bread bowl.
7. Anyone getting on the chair at 3:59pm. While you’re skiing to the bar, this guy or gal knows that the last run of the day is often the best part of the day. They’ve basically got the entire mountain to themselves, wringing every last drop from the ski day.