Skiing a 100-day season tends to make our bodies… morphologically unique. As one skier told our marketing team, “I weigh 200 pounds and 180 of that is in my upper legs and my ass.” Most companies don’t understand how to make clothing for skiers for the tragic half of the year when they’re not actually skiing. That’s where we come in. Here at BodiezByAprès, we design functional, flattering clothing for people who devote their lives to debauchery and good-hearted fun, at the expense of their joints, bones, and livers. We are proud to announce our new line of products for Spring/Summer 2021.
Asymmetrical Sidecut Hiking Pants
The perfect off-season pant for the powderhound who puts in the work to find his stash. We understand that you’ve only hit that left sidestep and traverse all season. These pants feature asymmetrical patterning in the thigh and seat to accommodate your wildly-out-of-balance musculature! These pants taper from 13 inches on the left and nine inches on the right down to the ankle for streamlined mountain biking ease. They even have a pocket for snacks that fill out the slimmer side!
XX-Tra Loose Hawaiian Shirt
What better way to hide your minuscule upper body than with a fun, seasonal aloha shirt? Sure, you meant well and really wanted to balance out your endless ski days with a few pushups, but with late nights and early mornings who has the time? Instead of sweating for that beach bod, you can conceal it and just ride trails all summer instead. Look sharp—or rather billowy—on your river trip this summer with six different colorful patterns! We made sure to open it up a little around the gut.
Full Coverage Water Shoes
Let’s face it, you can’t show your toes anymore and still keep your friends. Chacos and Tevas aren’t flattering anyway, but you know what screams style? Those neon water shoes you got from a street vendor on the Jersey Shore. We recreated an exact replica, but with some tasteful branding and odor-resistant fabrics. What your friends can’t see won’t hurt them.