Powder 8s: The Jaded Local’s Eight

Eight lists of eight topics of eight things that are important to skiing

Topics the ski media thinks that you’re fascinated by:

    1. Microbreweries in ski towns

    2. Things that are Iconic

    3. What it’s like to be a woman skier

    4. The rich inner lives of 19 year olds who are good at jumpin’ and trickin’

    5. Taking a ski trip via train

    6. Things that are killing the soul of skiing

    7. Anything that leads to them going on a trip to Japan or Italy

    8. $700 Jackets

Topics that most Powder readers are fascinated by:

    1. Powder

    2. Free or Very Cheap Beer

    3. The actual location of women skiers

    4. Hot tubs

    5. Paying rent in a ski town on $11.25/hour

    6. The actual location of their malamute

    7. Firewood

    8. Repairing blown out edges and ACL’s with black magic

Five things that might be killing the Soul Of Skiing: The dark forces attacking the abstract platonic ideal or metaphysical totality of sliding around on snow and drinking beer afterward.

    1. Facebook

    2. Demographics

    3. The FIS

    4. Corporations

    5. Millenials

One that is actually killing the soul of skiing:

    1. Hype

One thing that is killing actual skiing:

    1. Global warming caused by us burning fossil fuels

Four things that skiing is actually killing:

    1. Existential meaninglessness

    2. Innocent snowflakes

    3. Career prospects of otherwise upwardly mobile college graduates

    4. Knee cartilage

One invention that’s going to make me rich:

    1. A mirror that mounts on your GoPro mount so that you can watch yourself filming yourself, in real time. It’s like an ultra-high resolution zero-lag live feed of what the footage you’re shooting will look like when you watch it later. Auto-focus!

Best alternatives to “half-pipe”:

    1. Stunt Ditch

    2. U-jump

    3. Twirly Tube

    4. The Long Hole

    5. Hurlin’ Trough

    6. Yo Gutter

    7. Huckqueduct!

    8. Coping Mechanism