PHOTO: Keith Carlsen
1. Sandwich: From the condiment bar, gather one package each of Saltines, ketchup, mustard, relish.
2. Defogging services: Courtesy of the bathroom hand drier or—please don't—the microwave in the lodge.
3. Beer, flat, room temperature: They're definitely not going to finish that.
4. Parking: Imagine yourself magically whisked away to…Siberia.
5. Wool beanie, stained: Department of Lost and Found.
6. Dessert, Maraschino cherries: Swipe a handful when the bartender is shaking a drink.
7. Refills: In and around the mouth, on stormy afternoons.
8. Hot tub, poached: Try not to cause a scene.