The bullwheel needs oiling and ski school’s out for the summer, but don’t cash your chips just yet. The last few weeks of the year are some of the best of the year, a chance to shed your down coat, let your proverbial (or real) hair down, and shred soft snow with your friends (what’s not to love?). To celebrate skiing’s second season, we’re imparting a little knowledge on how to write this spring into the record books. Good luck, and happy jump turns.
1. Get wet
It’s finally warm enough to ditch your moisture wicking baselayer, and what better way to celebrate than getting drenched? Slay the pond skim, spray your buddies, take a beer shower on the Le Chamois sundeck for Chrissakes, but whatever you do, don’t come home dry.
2. Ski the lift line
You’ve been training all year for this, now it’s time to show your stuff. Take the Hollywood line and make sure to crush as many moguls as possible before unceremoniously slipping that disk in your back. Knit headbands and sunglasses won’t prevent injury, but should up style points. Lights, camera, DAFFY.
3. Burn your ski socks
We don’t care how well they treated you this season, they smell awful and are probably carrying a foot-born fungi that could really mess up your sandle game. Plus they’re probably the one piece of ski equipment you can actually afford to replace. After your last lift-serviced turns, toss those puppies on the sacrificial pyre, thank them for their service, and move on.
4. Carry a boombox and bullhorn everywhere
The only way people can officially tell you’re having the best day ever is if you shout it at them through a microphone while blasting Springsteen down your line. This is a scientific fact—we don’t mess with facts.
5. Break every fashion rule known to man
Denim, neon, bear skin, seersucker, spring is the glorious time of year where questionable fashion is rewarded with high-fives and chairlift cat calls. Don’t let the opportunity pass you by, or you’ll have to sit on that immaculate pair of jort overalls until next year rolls around.
6. Ski long or short, there is no middle ground
FACT: Spring skis cannot be the same length as winter skis. Long and skinny, or short and fat, there is no happy medium. Bonus points for monoskis, double bonus for tele-blades.
7. Tip your lifties
These dudes and dudettes have been facilitating your pow days all year, the least you can do is throw them a couple of beers for their service. They have also been known to accept showers and a square meal.
8. Never stop skiing, ever
Screw this list, move to South America, rinse, and repeat. Don’t worry, we’ll save a spot in the lift line for ya.